Gene Robinson's Prayer at the Inaugural Opening Ceremony

An incredibly beautiful prayer from openly gay Episcopalian Bishop Gene Robinson at yesterday's opening ceremony for the Inauguration. A rather tough act to follow for Rick Warren, who delivers the invocation at the Inauguration proper today, and whose record on gays is, shall we say, questionable at best. (Regardless of his fence mending with the apparently easily snowed Melissa Etheridge.) In any event, politics aside, Bishop Robinson's prayer is a call for strength, tolerance, and wisdom, and it is a call that we could all do well to answer.

The text, below:

"O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic
“answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughter's childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN."

It's VS Its

Well, I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who has occasional troubles with remembering the possessive versus contraction rules governing the use of an apostrophe and the word "It".

(For the record, "it's" is a contraction [which makes perfect sense!], while "its" is possessive [and does not make sense!]. Also, this is the exact opposite as it was explained to me by an English major and "professional" writer, so I feel somewhat vindicated in my confusion.... Unless this site is wrong and confused as well!)

That Smiths Reunion Business? Not So Much.

Well There you go. Per an article on NME.com yesterday, Johnny Marr officially squelched the latest round of Smiths reunion rumors.

Marr issued a statement to NME.COM saying that rumours floating around that the band were reuniting were "untrue". He declared: "The stories circulating about a Smiths reunion are, as usual, untrue."

So, again, there you go. It's unfortunate, but I tend to have mixed emotions about any reunion tour. Sometimes it's best to just leave things as they were, and if that means being sad that you were too young to have ever seen The Smiths play, well then, so be it. I don't doubt that they would have done a magnificent job, but you never know.

Anyway, Johnny is likely a little busy right now, what with Modest Mouse, The Cribs, lecturing at Uni in Manchester, and appearing in the latest (to be released) Harry Potter film.

OMG The Smiths May Be Reuniting!!!!

Amazing. Spectacular. Transcendent. The Smiths. Reunited. Soon???

There has been one band that has managed to not jump on the reunion bandwagon that got to rolling over the past several years, and it is The Smiths. Rumors have circulated recently that there was a very generous offer were they to stage a reunion at this year's Coachella festival, and it appears that those rumors may be closer to reality than previously believed.

I've had the opportunity to see Morrissey twice in the past ten years (good lord!), and he trotted out a few Smiths covers, but that was the closest that I believed that I would come to seeing the actual Smiths. The Smiths, dear Lord, The Smiths!!!

Time will tell, but hopes are high that reconciliation and hundreds of millions of dollars will bring The Smiths back onto the stage. The real question is whether or not Andy Joyce and Mickey Rourke will be involved, as they were considered merely session players, and proved themselves to be terribly litigious. Either way, with or without them, I will be there, and sixteen year old Dakin will be thrilled.

Oh Hi There; How About Some More Reflection?

Sometimes endings are beginnings, and obviously the reverse is also true. Los Angeles is wonderful, and I'm beginning to understand that there are some things that I've left behind in Seattle that I will have to let go of to move forward. If I don't, and don't do so actively, I will be captured in some sort of awful stasis; unable to move forward, and equally unable to move backwards. In short, there are people and emotions that must be released in order to avoid stagnation. It's wonderful to have people in your life that you love, that you would lay down your life for, but it's not healthy to live your life for them. We've all been the one left behind, waving at the U-Haul as our friends journey into their own lives (and likely we've all driven a few U-Hauls), but it's not healthy or good to hold on too tightly. There are relationships that we have forged that will carry us through our entire lives. People we have met who will hold us up and inspire us, and we will do so in kind; however there are others who may have made significant impacts that we must allow to simply dissipate. We must allow them the freedom to continue their own journeys as freely as we travel ours without hindrance or expectation; it was great while it lasted, but these partings, these partings they are inevitable.

Everyone that you know, that I know, that we know, we will lose someday. We will lose some of them to circumstance, to distance, to death; but we will lose them all. You will bury your parents, your best friend, your partner; or they will bury you. It is an immutable and unavoidable fact of life. It is something that we can't escape. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces, just reflecting on all of it, but at the same time, it makes it all so ridiculously beautiful. We have each other for such a short time, and there's so much that can be taken and learned and held and be wondered at. It's okay to let go, as long as we are conscious of what it is that we held on to to begin with.

I hope that you're reading; all of you.

Yup, Still Thinking About Those Civil Rights

Getting settled in Los Angeles, and proper updates are on the way, but I did want to post what I feel is a very eloquent dissection of civil unions vs marriage.



And while we're at it, the amazing "Prop 8 The Musical". Is it possible to like Neil Patrick Harris even more than we already do? (Dr. Horrible, anyone?)

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

And Off We Go.

I checked my horoscope for today, and found the following. Well there you go. Currently it's 8am, and I leave within the hour. Due to a slight change of plans, I will be making this journey entirely on my own; a prospect that is both thrilling and saddening. I love you all, and I will see you (some of you) soon.

::Libra::
For December 2: You're still examining the upside and downside of making a major move. This change would undoubtedly impact your work, family life and housing situation. Deep in your heart, you feel a powerful urge to wander and explore something exotic, new and ultra stimulating. Sure, there are risks - and many of your friends or family members may not understand why you're even considering this big adventure. Before the end of the week, most of them will. There's a big part of you that needs, needs, needs more romance and beauty in your life. If that's in short supply right now, what have you got to lose?

Packed and Ready to Go... Soon.

Well. Everything is packed. Everything has been put into storage, or into the trunk and the back seat of my car. Last night I slept barely four hours, waking myself with the fear that I would somehow oversleep my alarm and miss the truck pick up. Of course, this was not the case, and I made two car loads to storage, as well as a much needed coffee run before I underwent the tortuous experience of being rented a truck by someone who was "sorry, but I've never done this before".

The truck was filled without incident, and unloaded in the same manner; my friend Kevin had to head home for a computer problem for twenty minutes, and I was left alone to organize the mess of belongings that we had thus far stuffed into my 10x15 space. As I sorted the boxes, chairs, and paintings, I had a sudden moment of clarity; What the hell am I doing??

Suddenly the past few weeks of preparation were snapped into focus, and I realized that I was going to exist for the next several months with only the things that I could carry (or, as is more accurate, the things that fit into my car). Also suddenly obvious was the realization that these things that seemed so, so, minimal also constituted a large amount of stuff. The idea of being footloose and fancy free is a terribly romantic notion that I have bought into wholeheartedly, but really? I thought that it would all fit comfortably into my trunk. Not so, as I learned this evening. Close, but not so much.

Still though, as it stands presently, my keys are limited to the car key, the key to the storage lock, and, for the next two days, a shared key to my friend Becky's apartment. Inspiring? Yes. Overwhelming? Most definitely. Regardless, even if this is only for the short term, I hope to learn and gain so, so much more than were I to stay through another grey winter. As it is tonight, the fog has crept in, you can barely see past half a block on Queen Anne hill, and I am remarkably cozy. In three days though? Seventy five degrees and beaches. In three months? Who knows, though I am open to receive it, whatever it is.

Late Night Maudlin Street :: Recylced

I wrote this during the move from Honolulu to Seattle, little over a year ago. All of the below still rings true, and I sit, beer in hand, in my packed apartment, listening to the track in question. This song has broken my heart from the age of 15 on, and I can't imagine eulogizing a home, a life, left behind without it. Now, though while I move onward from Seattle to Los Angeles --even for the time being -- many of the same emotions come into play. The loss, the longing, the hope, and the expectation. Everything has changed, even if, on the surface, very little has.

Tonight, well, last night if we’re to be totally honest, I was to start packing. As has been expressed in a previous post, I am in the middle of Tremendous Life Change. I am moving as much as I can afford of my current life in Hawaii back to what could be said to be my old life, but is really my new life, in Seattle.

Yesterday, I turned thirty two. Thirty was spent in the middle of a hectic move to Hawaii, a move that was even more hectic because I allowed my then partner to shoulder all of the responsibility in getting us here. Sure, I helped, but not as much as I could or should have. Part of it was that I was resistant to change, and, even at the cusp of thirty, acting the part of a spoiled child. This time is different. This time I have only myself to answer to (because who wants to be in a relationship with a spoiled child? Exactly.), and must handle things differently.

Jamie suggested that I take some time out of the packing to do a post about Music for Packing, which, really, truth be told, is Music For Leaving. Because I am. I am leaving; I am leaving my partner of more than four years (who, in the spirit of our new found honesty left me), I am leaving friends, I am leaving an established career; I am choosing not to live my life for other people.

We could be clever. We could bluster about how we moved neighborhoods in Seattle in a Darvocet and Percocet haze to Les Savy Fav serenading us with “We’ve Got Boxes”. We could laugh when we remember the move from Kansas to Seattle, marking the miles with Modest Mouse and “A Life Of Arctic Sounds”, because, don’t you know, five hundred miles is a long way to go inside a car? (And don’t you know, once we got there, we pined away the nights with “Busby Berkely Dreams” by the Magnetic Fields?) But let’s not. Let’s share a beer and continue to be honest. Lets talk about “Late Night Maudlin Street” by Morrissey.

This song, oh, this song. This song, off Morrissey’s first solo effort Viva Hate, all the way back in 1988, is the song that for years has eulogized our passing from one physical space to the next. There has not been a move in recent memory that has not entailed sitting in the middle of the floor with a beer and Morrissey’s sad, sad lament about changing house drifting through speakers. I am moving house, a half life disappears today... It captures the ache and promise of new beginnings so perfectly. It is the ache of lost love, of a life that you’ve left behind; it was, is, and will always be, to me, perfect.

The rain pours down at the back of the Nu’uanu valley, where I currently live -- teasing me with the promise of a dark and potentially lonely winter in the Northwest. I’m drinking a beer, sitting at my computer, and listening to “Late Night Maudlin Street”, over and over, so many times that it’s embarrassing. It is, however, like a friend’s arm around your shoulder, fingers pressed into your bicep, and promising that everything really will be okay.

Oh, truly I do love you...

One More Thought On Loss

Today as I was putting things into storage and rushing around with preparations for the impending move, I was reminded of a quote that sums up what I think that I may have been somewhat trying to convey in the last post. It comes from the play Angels In America, and was spoken by the character Harper.

"Nothing's lost forever. In this world there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we've left behind, and dreaming ahead. At least I think so" -- Tony Kushner

And it's true; it was this painful progress that I was attempting to speak to in my last post. However, when I remembered the quote, I remembered the last line as "I hope so", which made it so much more poignant to me. Yes of course we hope so, but honestly, I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is that I hope to be so. For the time being, I suppose that Hope will be my blanket; Hope will be what carries me (though indeed, it carries all of us) through however much longer I may feel that I need to be carried. Hope is redemptive, and is a close cousin of Faith, though perhaps a more wistful and less certain cousin. Faith is Certainty, while Hope is the middle ground between Certainty and Dreams. Hope is what, along with Faith, keeps us going from day to day.

Regardless of what you may fear that you've lost, or are losing, you can only hope that you will reconcile this with what you may gain, whatever that is. It is not yet even 5pm, and Seattle is nearly completely dark, bundled in it's own blanket of mist, so much so that I can barely see the Space Needle from my window; just an illuminated outline with the not yet completed Christmas lights atop the spire. In light of all of the transition and change in my life, I am refreshingly less cynical than any time in recent memory. Bundled in Hope, I'm ready to move forward into the future, whatever it may be.

Half Formed Thoughts On Loss

Sometimes we lose. The world is full of loss; we lose people, we lose jobs, we lose everything that we've ever had. Sometimes we lose our keys. We lose our minds, we lose the present to the past and the future to the present. We lose brain cells by the bucket load every day, often accelerated by whatever means we choose to deaden the pain of those losses. Every day losing and loss, whether we see it or not. It's strangely and horribly consuming, this shedding that we experience every day, like leaves fluttering off a tree. We are becoming lighter, leaner, yet paradoxically more burdened.

Yet we go forward still, every day. Every day in spite of so many setbacks, and so much loss, so much of it that can't even be avoided. It's marvelous, really, this going on and moving forward. What is it that keeps us from throwing our hands up and giving in? Shouting "enough!" to the heavens and slumping down, defeated? Is it faith? Is it hope?

Or is it that we somehow understand that through losing, we are, ultimately, able to win? Is it that, if you live your life without defeat, you never truly hunger for victory? We may get pushed around sometimes, but one day, we'll be pushed too hard. We'll throw that punch, the other guy will go down, and it will feel damn good. Damn good.

Saturday night I drank champagne and toasted the very idea of Possibility, and tonight, tonight were I to have champagne, I believe that I would toast Loss. Loss who, with all of her cruelty and indifference is nevertheless shepherding us to a better tomorrow as better, stronger, wiser people. Raise your glasses and bow your heads friends; place one hand over your heart, and let us solemnly, wistfully, and yes, because me must, joyfully, toast.

Janelle Monae :: Yow!!!!

Janelle Monae may be one of the best, most interesting new artists that I have had the privilege of being introduced to over the past year. Hailing from ATL via KC KS, Janelle Monae, I think will prove to be one of the more interesting voices in R&B that we've seen in some time.

Ms. Monae manages to channel Prince, Outkast's Andre 3000, James Brown, and, perhaps, a little David Bowie for the sheer spectacle that she has created. All in all, Janelle Monae is one of the most exciting new artists, and I can't wait to see and hear more from her. Sadly, I found out about her weeks after her show in Seattle, which I can only presume was sheer, jubilant brilliance. Also, the chance to have seen her at one of the city's smaller clubs (Chop Suey) is an opportunity that likely won't be coming around again.

The Things I Will Carry

Above will be, aside from clothing and my car, the whole of my possessions for the next few months; and my camera, as it's difficult to take photos of the camera with the camera. Just books and electronic essentials, as well as a notebook, a good pen, and my passport.

The books are a mix of some old friends (Nicole Krauss, Jonathan Safran Foer [two of my favorite books, especially when read as companions], Cynthia Ozick, Kazuo Ishiguro, and David Sedaris), the afore mentioned James Frey, some insightful nonfiction from Oliver Sacks and some dry, dry, dry instructional nonfiction in the form of HTML4. Also included, but not purchased yet are The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels, and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, as this is also, ultimately, a journey of the spirit.

Of course, this many books is likely unrealistic, as I think that I've managed to finish one book in the past three months -- and it was a short one. (A Single Man, by Christopher Isherwood, and which may also make it's way into the pile due to the location and themes addressed.) All in all though, I think that I've chosen these particular books as guides for wherever it is that I'm trying to go, and especially as I embrace this trip as a sort of vision quest. All said though, I really do need to make it through that HTML4 for Dummies if nothing else.

So yes, this will be "my life" in terms of possessions for at least two months; crazy, no?

We'll All Have Our Bright Shiny Morning

What are we doing?
We're leaving.
Where are we going?
California.
We can't just get up and go to California.
Yes, we can.
We can't just walk away from our lives.
We don't have lives here. We're just stuck. We'll end up like everyone else, drunk and mean and miserable.
What'll we do?
Figure it out.
We're just gonna leave and go to California and figure it out?
Yeah, that's what we're gonna do.

--James Frey, excerpted from Bright Shiny Morning.

The above was, literally, the first thing that caught my eye when skimming through a copy of Bright Shiny Morning today. I was spending time with a friend, beginning the bittersweet process of saying my goodbyes, and she suggested that I add this to my reading list, as Los Angeles and her history are central characters. To say that it resonated would be, of course, something of an understatement. While the motivations for my own journey are far less dark, and much more an adventure and an exploration of myself than a mere running away, the end result is that yes, I am going to California to "figure it out".

Packing is almost complete, departure dates have been set, and there is an almost electric excitement about me. Often I have found myself critical of my reluctance to have adventures (though in truth, I've had my fair share), so perhaps this is also something of a test. There is something that I want, and have felt that I've needed for some time, and here it is, a door that merely needs to be walked through. Perhaps it's the ease with which everything fell together that leaves me a little nervous, but in truth, isn't serendipity to be celebrated?

Right now, with so much uncertainty in the world, let's focus on the beauty and the wonder of possibility; a belief that, in the end, everything really can be wonderful. Let's suspend for a moment, if we can, the concept of chance. Instead, let's believe, if only for just now, that everything is a puzzle, a gift to be used to our advantage in making us the people that we want to be. It's not that things are hard, it's that they're blessedly easy, if only we can step back and marvel at yes, the beauty and wonder of it all.

Westward and to the South

Growth is painful. it marks us with stretch marks, wraps rings around the insides of trees; bands of experience and expansion that are physical evidence of what we have come to call “growing pains”.  We are marked inside and out as we grow and change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse; regardless, there is always evidence, if only you know to look hard enough. 

Lately I’ve had my own growing pains, becoming more persistent over the past year, until by the beginning of November I felt almost as though I was knitting new bones. My growing pains stemmed from self awareness and the realization that the past year had taken me further from my goals rather than closer. Unhappy in career and locale, it was a perpetual struggle of two steps backwards for every one forward. 

Friday I made the decision to move to Los Angeles for the winter after a week and a half of serious re-evaluation of, essentially, every aspect of my life. What I hope is that this will be my spirit walk, my vision quest, that brings me back into sync with my goals and brings me closer to achieving them. The hope is that I can walk away from my life, just for a short time, and come back more centered and focused, and the better for it. Essentially, a chance to hit the reset button and see the world with eyes that aren't nearly as tired.

By Monday, I had cancelled my now expired gym membership, given notice at my apartment, begun packing, and found a storage space. Suddenly everything is frighteningly, vividly, Kodachrome real. The reality of the people and places that I will be leaving (yet again, only temporarily, so why the deep melancholy?) settles like a cold fog, replacing the bright optimism that existed when this was all mere fancy. There will be time enough to bask in California's golden sun, cooling toes in her oceans and roasting marshmallows in the embers of her wild fires; today we mourn our losses, real or imagined. 

All of this is coming at a cost, as does everything, and with that cost is tied the hope that the gains will offset the losses. In the end, a life of what if and missed opportunity is as dry and bitter as a mouthful of ashes. Nothing wondrous is ever achieved without risk, even if, in the end, the risk isn’t even that great.

Join The Impact Seattle

Today was the national Join The Impact protest, and out here in Seattle, announced today, it is officially "Marriage Equality Day". Every November 15, per Mayor Greg Nickels speaking at today's rally, we will celebrate the right of all people, regardless of color, gender, orientation, or faith to be married. Good on you, Mayor Nickels; it doesn't change my position on your liberalization of zoning laws (in a way that is, to my mind, anti preservation), but I'm touched that Seattle's gay community has your support.

The rally was, in truth, inspiring. It was heartwarming to me to see a gathering of people from across the spectrum of Seattle's citizenry; especially older straight couples and (gay and straight) families with their children. Especially inspiring was the knowledge that, moving forward, things will be different, and to borrow a line from the fight for African American rights, yes, "we will overcome".

See the full gallery here.

Keith Olbermann Has Something To Say

MSNBC shouting talking head Keith Olbermann addressed the topic of gay marriage and Proposition 8. Definitely worth watching and forwarding. A good perspective on an issue that is, yes (sigh) about equal rights, and not special rights. (For the record, I love him; he may be our Bill O'Reilly, but he possesses a humanity and an intellectualism that is otherwise largely absent in punditry.)



(Update: This totally makes me teary eyed every time I watch it; let us all be written in the Book Of Love.)

Radiohead as interpreted through Troll 2

All right, so via Fey Friends comes this gem. I admit, I have never seen Troll 2, nor even Troll 1 for that matter. However, I do love me some Radiohead. As a matter of fact, I'm listening to "The Bends" right now!

Regardless, I agree with the assertion that this may be the best Radiohead video ever. Yes, that's right, ever. Election, politics, Palin, gays, etc... Let's take a break and remember what the internet is for! Fun things. And porn, but that's not what we're about here... Also, the puppy cam! Loves it.

Join The Impact Saturday!

"All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression."
-Thomas Jefferson-

This Saturday, people across the nation, and in every state, will meet and march to our city halls to demand equality, and show that we will not be silent as our rights are stripped away through legislation. Find information on your city here, and please join us, regardless of sexual orientation, nationality, faith, gender, or age. Let's take hold of the opportunity to truly be one united voice asking that we honor the spirit and the principles that our country was founded upon.

WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good job America! We won. We made history. Proposition 8 remains to be called, but we have proven that we are up for fighting the good fight. John McCain, you were a good guy, but you made some poor decisions. Sarah Palin? Suck it. Joe the Plumber, you are neither a real "Joe" nor a real "plumber". Enjoy those last remaining 15 minutes Joe and Sarah; we won't miss you.

Update: Just listening to John McCain's concession speech, and I must say that sir, you are a true class act. Your concession was eloquent and touching, and you made strides to unite us as a nation; you regained my respect, and I hope that your own legacy as a committed servant to the service of your country endures.

Again, we have made history. We are one step closer to changing the world.