Well, it is the night before my 33rd year; my birthday eve. I've been thinking about a year end recap for some time now -- forming my thoughts for an end of December post. Mainly I've been looking forward to a chance to kick 2008 in the ass on it's way out the door. On many counts -- both for myself and for those near me it has been, in short, a thoroughly rotten year. There have been deaths in the families of many of my closest friends (as well as myself), some overtly tragic and meaningless, and others while not so sudden, still inhabited by the sense of loss that we feel when separated from those we love, those who've known us all of our lives, those who, deep down, we're not really sure how to get along without. There has been hardship, be it economic or personal, and there have been growing pains, as we all lurch awkwardly further into adulthood.
In the past year, I've moved across an ocean, leaving behind someone that I loved very much; I've made new friends that I couldn't imagine living my life without; left behind others that, while I do care about, we just haven't been good for each other; I've met and faced challenges both personally and professionally that I hope never to wrestle with again; my goals for myself, for my life, have changed -- crystallized. There are babies born (a godson!) and others on the way, marriages (and likely a divorce or two); endings, and beginnings. It's far from hyperbolic to say that we live in wondrous and terrifying times; we have an african american man (from Kansas and Hawaii!) running for the highest office in the nation (a nation that teeters ever so precipitously on the potential of absolute collapse), gay marriage is on the ballot in California, the economy is stuttering and threatening the stability of this entire global spiderweb in which we are all entangled; Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian! Ellen married Portia! We stand at a precipice, and know that we absolutely must jump -- we just don't know whether it's going to be for the better or for the worse. Personally, I hope and believe that it will all be for the best; change is good, the good guy always wins, and massive change is what we need to right the wrongs of (let's face it) the past eight years.
In short, it's been a year, and I have some new grey hairs to show for my efforts. While there may be, at times, a near crippling fear, there is also, at heart, a deep hope and a belief that things will always be better and always look up. A willingness to remind myself of what I have and what I've gained, even in the face of all that I feel that I've lost. For everyone in my life, I love you, and treasure you, and hope that you forgive me my maudlin impulses.
In lighter news, as this is a birthday post, while no one is obligated to get me anything, I have just the thing if you're looking for the ideal gift (barring, of course, cash gifts in large, non sequential bills); a two plus foot porcelain statue of Chairman Mao. While he is a bit dear ($285!), I'm sure that our friends at the West Seattle Antique Mall may be willing to come down a bit, and if you pool your resources, it's really not all that much, is it? Of course, if blatant consumerism ironically celebrating a Communist leader isn't quite your thing, I would also be more than happy to accept the gift of a baby muntjac deer.
The chairman in his luminous glory; and he would look fabulous on a sideboard.
Oh.Em.Gee. Look at his teeny little hooves!!!
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