Last Thoughts On 2008

Update: This was meant to be posted New Year's Eve, but apparently didn't make it out of the draft folder, which is unfortunate. In any event, a few days later, the sentiment remains the same.

Well, at long last, 2008 is wheezing it's last dreadful breaths. I touched a bit on 2008 in the post before my birthday, so I don't know that I feel any inclination to go back into any of that. Instead of recounting 2008 as an annotated list of best records, worst moments, and greatest blessings, I think that I will share a little ritual that a friend is engaging in this New Year's Eve.

Take two pieces of paper, and, on the first, write down a list of your mistakes of 2008 (Think you haven't made any? You have.); on the second piece of paper write out your goals for the coming year. The first piece of paper, this catalog of your mistakes and missteps, fold in half and cast into the ocean, a river, or a creek. Any body of water really; this is the act of releasing your errors and regrets, thus enabling you to move forward.

Now take the second piece of paper, the one that sets out what you hope to accomplish in the coming year, fold it in half, and set it alight. Let it burn to embers, and know that you have just ignited your goals, and created a metaphorical jumping off point for their accomplishment. You're free now to move into the New Year with a hand at your back, and without the hindrance of the past holding you back or bogging you down. January First may just be another date, another day on the calendar, but it is symbolic nonetheless. It can be the clean slate that so many of us want and need so badly; whatever you need to make the changes that you've been making excuses not to. Take it, run with it; it's a rare gift in a life full of debits.

Thus far, I can say that I am wholly satisfied with these last hours of 2008. I took the dog on a five mile hike into the mountains outside of Pasadena; following two and a half miles of switchbacks, and an eighteen hundred plus foot elevation gain, we ended at the ruins of a hotel that burned at the turn of the century. We looked out over the valley, a late afternoon marine layer settling in, and I thought about how wonderful it was to be alive, breathing and existing, regardless of how messy the transitory may become. This evening I spent with family; eating food, talking music, science, tv, and tech, and playing board games before we all watched the ball drop in NYC. If this last day of 2008 is any indication of the 2009 to come, I'm ready to welcome it and embrace what I have every intention of making into a wonderful year full of possibility and wonder.

That Smiths Reunion Business? Not So Much.

Well There you go. Per an article on NME.com yesterday, Johnny Marr officially squelched the latest round of Smiths reunion rumors.

Marr issued a statement to NME.COM saying that rumours floating around that the band were reuniting were "untrue". He declared: "The stories circulating about a Smiths reunion are, as usual, untrue."

So, again, there you go. It's unfortunate, but I tend to have mixed emotions about any reunion tour. Sometimes it's best to just leave things as they were, and if that means being sad that you were too young to have ever seen The Smiths play, well then, so be it. I don't doubt that they would have done a magnificent job, but you never know.

Anyway, Johnny is likely a little busy right now, what with Modest Mouse, The Cribs, lecturing at Uni in Manchester, and appearing in the latest (to be released) Harry Potter film.

OMG The Smiths May Be Reuniting!!!!

Amazing. Spectacular. Transcendent. The Smiths. Reunited. Soon???

There has been one band that has managed to not jump on the reunion bandwagon that got to rolling over the past several years, and it is The Smiths. Rumors have circulated recently that there was a very generous offer were they to stage a reunion at this year's Coachella festival, and it appears that those rumors may be closer to reality than previously believed.

I've had the opportunity to see Morrissey twice in the past ten years (good lord!), and he trotted out a few Smiths covers, but that was the closest that I believed that I would come to seeing the actual Smiths. The Smiths, dear Lord, The Smiths!!!

Time will tell, but hopes are high that reconciliation and hundreds of millions of dollars will bring The Smiths back onto the stage. The real question is whether or not Andy Joyce and Mickey Rourke will be involved, as they were considered merely session players, and proved themselves to be terribly litigious. Either way, with or without them, I will be there, and sixteen year old Dakin will be thrilled.

Really Antony, Really??

Antony and the Johnsons are touring (collective yay!). They are, however, not coming to Los Angeles, and are planning a trip to Seattle. Oh wicked, fate, what is this terrible joke?

There appears to be time enough on the schedule to slip in an LA date, though not if it's after San Francisco, as that would entail some backtracking. Fine, whatever, so be it. I missed them in Portland playing with a symphony, and I missed them playing a tiny theatre down the street from my last apartment (with Devendra Banhart and Coco Rosie!), and I suppose that I will just resign myself to missing them again. Or not. There are such modes of transportation (aircraft!) that can take you long distances in a brief period of time, so we shall see.

Still though, really? Really?

Tour dates below, and via Pitchfork. In other news, the new LP The Crying Light drops 01/20 via Secretly Canadian, which, while cold comfort, is a happy thing indeed.

02-02 Glenside, PA - Keswick Theatre
02-03 Washington, DC - Sixth & I Historic Synagogue
02-04 Columbus, OH - Southern Theatre
02-07 Knoxville, TN - Big Ears Festival
02-08 Atlanta, GA - Variety Playhouse
02-12 Chicago, IL - Vic Theatre
02-13 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theater
02-14 Minneapolis, MN - Pantages Theatre
02-17 Toronto, Ontario - Queen Elizabeth Theatre
02-19 New York, NY - Town Hall
02-20 New York, NY - Town Hall
02-22 Boston, MA - Berklee Performance Center
02-24 San Francisco, CA - Nob Hill Masonic Center (Noise Pop)
02-27 Vancouver, British Columbia - Vogue Theatre
02-28 Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre

Oh Hi There; How About Some More Reflection?

Sometimes endings are beginnings, and obviously the reverse is also true. Los Angeles is wonderful, and I'm beginning to understand that there are some things that I've left behind in Seattle that I will have to let go of to move forward. If I don't, and don't do so actively, I will be captured in some sort of awful stasis; unable to move forward, and equally unable to move backwards. In short, there are people and emotions that must be released in order to avoid stagnation. It's wonderful to have people in your life that you love, that you would lay down your life for, but it's not healthy to live your life for them. We've all been the one left behind, waving at the U-Haul as our friends journey into their own lives (and likely we've all driven a few U-Hauls), but it's not healthy or good to hold on too tightly. There are relationships that we have forged that will carry us through our entire lives. People we have met who will hold us up and inspire us, and we will do so in kind; however there are others who may have made significant impacts that we must allow to simply dissipate. We must allow them the freedom to continue their own journeys as freely as we travel ours without hindrance or expectation; it was great while it lasted, but these partings, these partings they are inevitable.

Everyone that you know, that I know, that we know, we will lose someday. We will lose some of them to circumstance, to distance, to death; but we will lose them all. You will bury your parents, your best friend, your partner; or they will bury you. It is an immutable and unavoidable fact of life. It is something that we can't escape. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces, just reflecting on all of it, but at the same time, it makes it all so ridiculously beautiful. We have each other for such a short time, and there's so much that can be taken and learned and held and be wondered at. It's okay to let go, as long as we are conscious of what it is that we held on to to begin with.

I hope that you're reading; all of you.

Yup, Still Thinking About Those Civil Rights

Getting settled in Los Angeles, and proper updates are on the way, but I did want to post what I feel is a very eloquent dissection of civil unions vs marriage.



And while we're at it, the amazing "Prop 8 The Musical". Is it possible to like Neil Patrick Harris even more than we already do? (Dr. Horrible, anyone?)

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

And Off We Go.

I checked my horoscope for today, and found the following. Well there you go. Currently it's 8am, and I leave within the hour. Due to a slight change of plans, I will be making this journey entirely on my own; a prospect that is both thrilling and saddening. I love you all, and I will see you (some of you) soon.

::Libra::
For December 2: You're still examining the upside and downside of making a major move. This change would undoubtedly impact your work, family life and housing situation. Deep in your heart, you feel a powerful urge to wander and explore something exotic, new and ultra stimulating. Sure, there are risks - and many of your friends or family members may not understand why you're even considering this big adventure. Before the end of the week, most of them will. There's a big part of you that needs, needs, needs more romance and beauty in your life. If that's in short supply right now, what have you got to lose?

Packed and Ready to Go... Soon.

Well. Everything is packed. Everything has been put into storage, or into the trunk and the back seat of my car. Last night I slept barely four hours, waking myself with the fear that I would somehow oversleep my alarm and miss the truck pick up. Of course, this was not the case, and I made two car loads to storage, as well as a much needed coffee run before I underwent the tortuous experience of being rented a truck by someone who was "sorry, but I've never done this before".

The truck was filled without incident, and unloaded in the same manner; my friend Kevin had to head home for a computer problem for twenty minutes, and I was left alone to organize the mess of belongings that we had thus far stuffed into my 10x15 space. As I sorted the boxes, chairs, and paintings, I had a sudden moment of clarity; What the hell am I doing??

Suddenly the past few weeks of preparation were snapped into focus, and I realized that I was going to exist for the next several months with only the things that I could carry (or, as is more accurate, the things that fit into my car). Also suddenly obvious was the realization that these things that seemed so, so, minimal also constituted a large amount of stuff. The idea of being footloose and fancy free is a terribly romantic notion that I have bought into wholeheartedly, but really? I thought that it would all fit comfortably into my trunk. Not so, as I learned this evening. Close, but not so much.

Still though, as it stands presently, my keys are limited to the car key, the key to the storage lock, and, for the next two days, a shared key to my friend Becky's apartment. Inspiring? Yes. Overwhelming? Most definitely. Regardless, even if this is only for the short term, I hope to learn and gain so, so much more than were I to stay through another grey winter. As it is tonight, the fog has crept in, you can barely see past half a block on Queen Anne hill, and I am remarkably cozy. In three days though? Seventy five degrees and beaches. In three months? Who knows, though I am open to receive it, whatever it is.

Late Night Maudlin Street :: Recylced

I wrote this during the move from Honolulu to Seattle, little over a year ago. All of the below still rings true, and I sit, beer in hand, in my packed apartment, listening to the track in question. This song has broken my heart from the age of 15 on, and I can't imagine eulogizing a home, a life, left behind without it. Now, though while I move onward from Seattle to Los Angeles --even for the time being -- many of the same emotions come into play. The loss, the longing, the hope, and the expectation. Everything has changed, even if, on the surface, very little has.

Tonight, well, last night if we’re to be totally honest, I was to start packing. As has been expressed in a previous post, I am in the middle of Tremendous Life Change. I am moving as much as I can afford of my current life in Hawaii back to what could be said to be my old life, but is really my new life, in Seattle.

Yesterday, I turned thirty two. Thirty was spent in the middle of a hectic move to Hawaii, a move that was even more hectic because I allowed my then partner to shoulder all of the responsibility in getting us here. Sure, I helped, but not as much as I could or should have. Part of it was that I was resistant to change, and, even at the cusp of thirty, acting the part of a spoiled child. This time is different. This time I have only myself to answer to (because who wants to be in a relationship with a spoiled child? Exactly.), and must handle things differently.

Jamie suggested that I take some time out of the packing to do a post about Music for Packing, which, really, truth be told, is Music For Leaving. Because I am. I am leaving; I am leaving my partner of more than four years (who, in the spirit of our new found honesty left me), I am leaving friends, I am leaving an established career; I am choosing not to live my life for other people.

We could be clever. We could bluster about how we moved neighborhoods in Seattle in a Darvocet and Percocet haze to Les Savy Fav serenading us with “We’ve Got Boxes”. We could laugh when we remember the move from Kansas to Seattle, marking the miles with Modest Mouse and “A Life Of Arctic Sounds”, because, don’t you know, five hundred miles is a long way to go inside a car? (And don’t you know, once we got there, we pined away the nights with “Busby Berkely Dreams” by the Magnetic Fields?) But let’s not. Let’s share a beer and continue to be honest. Lets talk about “Late Night Maudlin Street” by Morrissey.

This song, oh, this song. This song, off Morrissey’s first solo effort Viva Hate, all the way back in 1988, is the song that for years has eulogized our passing from one physical space to the next. There has not been a move in recent memory that has not entailed sitting in the middle of the floor with a beer and Morrissey’s sad, sad lament about changing house drifting through speakers. I am moving house, a half life disappears today... It captures the ache and promise of new beginnings so perfectly. It is the ache of lost love, of a life that you’ve left behind; it was, is, and will always be, to me, perfect.

The rain pours down at the back of the Nu’uanu valley, where I currently live -- teasing me with the promise of a dark and potentially lonely winter in the Northwest. I’m drinking a beer, sitting at my computer, and listening to “Late Night Maudlin Street”, over and over, so many times that it’s embarrassing. It is, however, like a friend’s arm around your shoulder, fingers pressed into your bicep, and promising that everything really will be okay.

Oh, truly I do love you...

One More Thought On Loss

Today as I was putting things into storage and rushing around with preparations for the impending move, I was reminded of a quote that sums up what I think that I may have been somewhat trying to convey in the last post. It comes from the play Angels In America, and was spoken by the character Harper.

"Nothing's lost forever. In this world there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we've left behind, and dreaming ahead. At least I think so" -- Tony Kushner

And it's true; it was this painful progress that I was attempting to speak to in my last post. However, when I remembered the quote, I remembered the last line as "I hope so", which made it so much more poignant to me. Yes of course we hope so, but honestly, I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is that I hope to be so. For the time being, I suppose that Hope will be my blanket; Hope will be what carries me (though indeed, it carries all of us) through however much longer I may feel that I need to be carried. Hope is redemptive, and is a close cousin of Faith, though perhaps a more wistful and less certain cousin. Faith is Certainty, while Hope is the middle ground between Certainty and Dreams. Hope is what, along with Faith, keeps us going from day to day.

Regardless of what you may fear that you've lost, or are losing, you can only hope that you will reconcile this with what you may gain, whatever that is. It is not yet even 5pm, and Seattle is nearly completely dark, bundled in it's own blanket of mist, so much so that I can barely see the Space Needle from my window; just an illuminated outline with the not yet completed Christmas lights atop the spire. In light of all of the transition and change in my life, I am refreshingly less cynical than any time in recent memory. Bundled in Hope, I'm ready to move forward into the future, whatever it may be.

Half Formed Thoughts On Loss

Sometimes we lose. The world is full of loss; we lose people, we lose jobs, we lose everything that we've ever had. Sometimes we lose our keys. We lose our minds, we lose the present to the past and the future to the present. We lose brain cells by the bucket load every day, often accelerated by whatever means we choose to deaden the pain of those losses. Every day losing and loss, whether we see it or not. It's strangely and horribly consuming, this shedding that we experience every day, like leaves fluttering off a tree. We are becoming lighter, leaner, yet paradoxically more burdened.

Yet we go forward still, every day. Every day in spite of so many setbacks, and so much loss, so much of it that can't even be avoided. It's marvelous, really, this going on and moving forward. What is it that keeps us from throwing our hands up and giving in? Shouting "enough!" to the heavens and slumping down, defeated? Is it faith? Is it hope?

Or is it that we somehow understand that through losing, we are, ultimately, able to win? Is it that, if you live your life without defeat, you never truly hunger for victory? We may get pushed around sometimes, but one day, we'll be pushed too hard. We'll throw that punch, the other guy will go down, and it will feel damn good. Damn good.

Saturday night I drank champagne and toasted the very idea of Possibility, and tonight, tonight were I to have champagne, I believe that I would toast Loss. Loss who, with all of her cruelty and indifference is nevertheless shepherding us to a better tomorrow as better, stronger, wiser people. Raise your glasses and bow your heads friends; place one hand over your heart, and let us solemnly, wistfully, and yes, because me must, joyfully, toast.

Janelle Monae :: Yow!!!!

Janelle Monae may be one of the best, most interesting new artists that I have had the privilege of being introduced to over the past year. Hailing from ATL via KC KS, Janelle Monae, I think will prove to be one of the more interesting voices in R&B that we've seen in some time.

Ms. Monae manages to channel Prince, Outkast's Andre 3000, James Brown, and, perhaps, a little David Bowie for the sheer spectacle that she has created. All in all, Janelle Monae is one of the most exciting new artists, and I can't wait to see and hear more from her. Sadly, I found out about her weeks after her show in Seattle, which I can only presume was sheer, jubilant brilliance. Also, the chance to have seen her at one of the city's smaller clubs (Chop Suey) is an opportunity that likely won't be coming around again.

The Things I Will Carry

Above will be, aside from clothing and my car, the whole of my possessions for the next few months; and my camera, as it's difficult to take photos of the camera with the camera. Just books and electronic essentials, as well as a notebook, a good pen, and my passport.

The books are a mix of some old friends (Nicole Krauss, Jonathan Safran Foer [two of my favorite books, especially when read as companions], Cynthia Ozick, Kazuo Ishiguro, and David Sedaris), the afore mentioned James Frey, some insightful nonfiction from Oliver Sacks and some dry, dry, dry instructional nonfiction in the form of HTML4. Also included, but not purchased yet are The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels, and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, as this is also, ultimately, a journey of the spirit.

Of course, this many books is likely unrealistic, as I think that I've managed to finish one book in the past three months -- and it was a short one. (A Single Man, by Christopher Isherwood, and which may also make it's way into the pile due to the location and themes addressed.) All in all though, I think that I've chosen these particular books as guides for wherever it is that I'm trying to go, and especially as I embrace this trip as a sort of vision quest. All said though, I really do need to make it through that HTML4 for Dummies if nothing else.

So yes, this will be "my life" in terms of possessions for at least two months; crazy, no?

We'll All Have Our Bright Shiny Morning

What are we doing?
We're leaving.
Where are we going?
California.
We can't just get up and go to California.
Yes, we can.
We can't just walk away from our lives.
We don't have lives here. We're just stuck. We'll end up like everyone else, drunk and mean and miserable.
What'll we do?
Figure it out.
We're just gonna leave and go to California and figure it out?
Yeah, that's what we're gonna do.

--James Frey, excerpted from Bright Shiny Morning.

The above was, literally, the first thing that caught my eye when skimming through a copy of Bright Shiny Morning today. I was spending time with a friend, beginning the bittersweet process of saying my goodbyes, and she suggested that I add this to my reading list, as Los Angeles and her history are central characters. To say that it resonated would be, of course, something of an understatement. While the motivations for my own journey are far less dark, and much more an adventure and an exploration of myself than a mere running away, the end result is that yes, I am going to California to "figure it out".

Packing is almost complete, departure dates have been set, and there is an almost electric excitement about me. Often I have found myself critical of my reluctance to have adventures (though in truth, I've had my fair share), so perhaps this is also something of a test. There is something that I want, and have felt that I've needed for some time, and here it is, a door that merely needs to be walked through. Perhaps it's the ease with which everything fell together that leaves me a little nervous, but in truth, isn't serendipity to be celebrated?

Right now, with so much uncertainty in the world, let's focus on the beauty and the wonder of possibility; a belief that, in the end, everything really can be wonderful. Let's suspend for a moment, if we can, the concept of chance. Instead, let's believe, if only for just now, that everything is a puzzle, a gift to be used to our advantage in making us the people that we want to be. It's not that things are hard, it's that they're blessedly easy, if only we can step back and marvel at yes, the beauty and wonder of it all.

Westward and to the South

Growth is painful. it marks us with stretch marks, wraps rings around the insides of trees; bands of experience and expansion that are physical evidence of what we have come to call “growing pains”.  We are marked inside and out as we grow and change, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse; regardless, there is always evidence, if only you know to look hard enough. 

Lately I’ve had my own growing pains, becoming more persistent over the past year, until by the beginning of November I felt almost as though I was knitting new bones. My growing pains stemmed from self awareness and the realization that the past year had taken me further from my goals rather than closer. Unhappy in career and locale, it was a perpetual struggle of two steps backwards for every one forward. 

Friday I made the decision to move to Los Angeles for the winter after a week and a half of serious re-evaluation of, essentially, every aspect of my life. What I hope is that this will be my spirit walk, my vision quest, that brings me back into sync with my goals and brings me closer to achieving them. The hope is that I can walk away from my life, just for a short time, and come back more centered and focused, and the better for it. Essentially, a chance to hit the reset button and see the world with eyes that aren't nearly as tired.

By Monday, I had cancelled my now expired gym membership, given notice at my apartment, begun packing, and found a storage space. Suddenly everything is frighteningly, vividly, Kodachrome real. The reality of the people and places that I will be leaving (yet again, only temporarily, so why the deep melancholy?) settles like a cold fog, replacing the bright optimism that existed when this was all mere fancy. There will be time enough to bask in California's golden sun, cooling toes in her oceans and roasting marshmallows in the embers of her wild fires; today we mourn our losses, real or imagined. 

All of this is coming at a cost, as does everything, and with that cost is tied the hope that the gains will offset the losses. In the end, a life of what if and missed opportunity is as dry and bitter as a mouthful of ashes. Nothing wondrous is ever achieved without risk, even if, in the end, the risk isn’t even that great.

Join The Impact Seattle

Today was the national Join The Impact protest, and out here in Seattle, announced today, it is officially "Marriage Equality Day". Every November 15, per Mayor Greg Nickels speaking at today's rally, we will celebrate the right of all people, regardless of color, gender, orientation, or faith to be married. Good on you, Mayor Nickels; it doesn't change my position on your liberalization of zoning laws (in a way that is, to my mind, anti preservation), but I'm touched that Seattle's gay community has your support.

The rally was, in truth, inspiring. It was heartwarming to me to see a gathering of people from across the spectrum of Seattle's citizenry; especially older straight couples and (gay and straight) families with their children. Especially inspiring was the knowledge that, moving forward, things will be different, and to borrow a line from the fight for African American rights, yes, "we will overcome".

See the full gallery here.

Keith Olbermann Has Something To Say

MSNBC shouting talking head Keith Olbermann addressed the topic of gay marriage and Proposition 8. Definitely worth watching and forwarding. A good perspective on an issue that is, yes (sigh) about equal rights, and not special rights. (For the record, I love him; he may be our Bill O'Reilly, but he possesses a humanity and an intellectualism that is otherwise largely absent in punditry.)



(Update: This totally makes me teary eyed every time I watch it; let us all be written in the Book Of Love.)

Downloadable Protest Posters!

The folks over at Against8 have some great downloadable posters to use tomorrow for the march; download them and march, march, march for equal rights!!

Radiohead as interpreted through Troll 2

All right, so via Fey Friends comes this gem. I admit, I have never seen Troll 2, nor even Troll 1 for that matter. However, I do love me some Radiohead. As a matter of fact, I'm listening to "The Bends" right now!

Regardless, I agree with the assertion that this may be the best Radiohead video ever. Yes, that's right, ever. Election, politics, Palin, gays, etc... Let's take a break and remember what the internet is for! Fun things. And porn, but that's not what we're about here... Also, the puppy cam! Loves it.

My Rights Are Your Rights

It's been incredibly inspiring to see the amount of reaction, on a national level, to the passage of Proposition 8. The real question, however, is why is Proposition 8 different than the marriage ban amendments passed in both Florida and Arizona? What makes California so different and special, and worthy of our ire?

Is it that, for God's sake, it's California? That we just can't fathom how something like this could pass, even by a slim majority, in a state that is known as the liberal bastion that is California? Is it that we've written off all of those Southern and "fly-over" states that we don't want to live in anyway?

No, the answer to the question of "Why is California exceptionally important to the fight for Equality" is that Proposition 8 effectively amended the state Constitution to take away rights that the state supreme court had already ruled existed under the Equal Protection Clause. In effect, Proposition 8 amends the Equal Protection Clause to remove gays and lesbians. It is a dangerous benchmark, and opens the door to remove gays and lesbians from existing legislation that protects us against discrimination in the workplace and in fair housing laws. Discrimination that, by the way, we are only protected against on a state level; there is no federal law in place protecting us period, and state laws are, naturally, on a state by state basis. In fact (and has been mentioned) Arkansas passed a law in this past election cycle that prohibited adoption or foster parenting by any "unmarried couples", a law that admittedly was drafted with the intent of countering the "gay agenda".

Let's not argue about the importance of establishing gays and lesbians as a "protected class" of citizens. Instead, let's talk about all people having the rights to "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness" as set forth in the Constitution. To argue otherwise is as ridiculous and nonsensical as to argue that it's acceptable to discriminate on the basis of hair, eye, or skin color. We are all one people, globally, regardless of anything, and it is not harmful to anyone or anything to admit as much. Those who lead by fear are not leaders, but dictators.

I leave you with a famous quote from Pastor Martin Niemöller, from the Holocaust. This hung in my bedroom in high school, and it served as a reminder that, again, we are all one people; and as one people, we have a duty to see that everyone's rights are protected. As a gay American, I have a value equal to everyone else living in this nation and this world, and it is true that "No one is free when others are oppressed." Gay, straight, black, white, regardless of nationality or faith, in the end, we are all one. And we must never be lead to believe otherwise.

"In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;
And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;
And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;
And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

In Germany, they also came for the gays, and no one said a word. It may not happen again in the same way, with camps and gas, but once we see the erosion and seizure of one group's civil rights, we open a door that leads down a dark and terrifying corridor. Stand up for your neighbor's rights, and you stand up for your own. We are living in historic times; let's guarantee that it's a history that we can be proud of, all of us.

Fight Back Against The Family Research Council

The Family Research Council sent out an "Action Alert" via email and on their website urging their supporters to email Governor Schwarzenegger to urge him to reverse his position of support for the overturn of Proposition 8. Well, if they can do it, so can we. Email the governor and let him know that you are grateful for his support of your rights, and the rights of all Americans. Just a quick note of "Hey thanks, keep doing what you're doing" should suffice.

Email Arnold here.

Join The Impact Saturday!

"All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression."
-Thomas Jefferson-

This Saturday, people across the nation, and in every state, will meet and march to our city halls to demand equality, and show that we will not be silent as our rights are stripped away through legislation. Find information on your city here, and please join us, regardless of sexual orientation, nationality, faith, gender, or age. Let's take hold of the opportunity to truly be one united voice asking that we honor the spirit and the principles that our country was founded upon.

Shut Up, Elton John.

Oh, Elton John, you silly vapid, selfish queen, you. How nice, Sir Elton, that you have blessed us with making your home in Los Angeles and taking the time to pontificate on our quaint political processes. Via USA Today (the favored rag of the business traveler and the third rate motel), Sir Elton made clear his views on exactly why the opposition to Proposition 8 failed.

"We're not married. Let's get that right. We have a civil partnership. What is wrong with Proposition 8 is that they went for marriage. Marriage is going to put a lot of people off, the word marriage."

"I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership," said John. "The word marriage, I think, puts a lot of people off. You get the same equal rights that we do when we have a civil partnership. Heterosexual people get married. We can have civil partnerships."

The thing is, Sir Elton? We already had marriage. It was there in the California Constitution (it's like a Yankee Magna Carta, dear), the state supreme court affirmed that it was there, and then it was taken away by bigots wielding fear and lies. No one "went for marriage"; this was thrust on us, and we stood up to protect the rights that we already had protected under the Constitution, and they were taken away. Similar to how in Arkansas they took away the rights of unmarried people to foster and adopt children; something that we also would not be allowed under a "civil partnership".

So please, take your hair plugs, your collection of novelty eyewear, your hideous Oscar party, and yes, even your "Tiny Dancer" and fuck right off back across the pond. P.s. Love the outfit; though doesn't it seem a bit tasteful for you?

photo via Andy Kropa AP

Circulate the Proposition 8 Repeal Petition!!!

Well, the amount of time spent patting ourselves on the back over the election results was short lived -- for me at least, and many others that I know. California passed (by a slim margin, but certainly a large enough margin to cause concern) Proposition 8, the amendment to the state's constitution revoking marriage rights for gays and lesbians. As disheartening as it is, opponents of the ban are refusing to concede defeat, and there are already multiple lawsuits working their way into the court system. At issue is the fact that the ballot initiative is discriminatory, and unfairly targets a portion of the population, and violates the equal protection clause that it seeks to amend.

Additionally, there is a petition that I urge everyone to circulate, but please know, you are only able to sign if you are a California resident, age 18 or older. If you are not, please do not sign it, but do what you can to make people who are eligible aware. The petition is an entreaty to Governor Schwarsenegger to overturn the ballot measure, and currently has, at last count has over 113,000 signatures. Please, make your voice heard! We changed history once this week, let's do it again. (Update: While writing this, I was able to see the number of signatures go up by over 2000 s in the span of a few minutes. Inspiring!)

Can't sign? Circulate this link.

Below, the full text:

To: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
I, myself, and many Californians I know are disgusted with the hatred that the passing of proposition 8 brought. I am asking you to read this over, THE FACTS, not the propaganda. Open your mind for a minute, and realize that this is terrible for future generations as well. How do you know that your future children or grandchildren won't come to you and tell you they are homosexual? Wouldn't you want your child to live a life in which the love they found was supported? Plain and simple, if you are an American, you should believe in preserving the constitution. Proposition 8's passing took away the 14th amendment for a group of people, and I would like to give it back.

Facts v. Fiction
Proposition 8 would eliminate fundamental rights for a group of Californians. It’s unfair and it’s wrong.

Fiction: Prop 8 doesn’t discriminate against gay people.
Fact: Prop 8 is simple: it eliminates the rights for same-sex couples to marry. Prop 8 would deny equal protections and write discrimination against one group of people—lesbian and gay people—into our state constitution.

Fiction: Teaching children about same-sex marriage will happen here unless we pass Prop 8.
Fact: Not one word in Prop 8 mentions education. And no child can be forced, against the will of their parents, to be taught anything about health and family issues at school. California law prohibits it.
California’s top educators including Superintendent of Schools Jack O’Connell and California Teachers all agree: Prop 8 has nothing to do with education.

Fiction: Churches could lose their tax-exemption status.
Fact: The court decision regarding marriage specifically says “no religion will be required to change its religious policies or practices with regard to same-sex couples, and no religious officiant will be required to solemnize a marriage in contravention of his or her religious beliefs.”

Fiction: A Massachusetts case about a parent’s objection to the school curriculum will happen here.
Fact: California gives parents an absolute right to remove their kids and opt-out of teaching on health and family instruction they don’t agree with. The opponents know that California law already covers this and Prop 8 won’t affect it, so they bring up an irrelevant case in Massachusetts.

Fiction: Four Activist Judges in San Francisco…
Fact: Prop 8 is about eliminating a fundamental right. Judges didn’t grant the right, the constitution guarantees the right. Proponents of Prop 8 use an outdated and stale argument that judges aren’t supposed to protect rights and freedoms. Prop 8 is about whether Californians are willing to amend the constitution for the sole purpose of eliminating a fundamental right for one group of citizens.

Fiction: If Prop 8 isn’t passed, people can be sued over personal beliefs.
Fact: California’s laws already prohibit discrimination against anyone based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. This has nothing to do with marriage.

Fiction: Pepperdine University supports the Yes on 8 campaign.
Fact: The University has publicly disassociated itself from Professor Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University, who is featured in the ad, and has asked to not be identified in the Yes on 8 advertisements.

Fiction: Unless Prop 8 passes, California parents won’t have the right to object to what their children are taught in school.
Fact: California law clearly gives parents and guardians broad authority to remove their children from any health instruction if it conflicts with their religious beliefs or moral convictions.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good job America! We won. We made history. Proposition 8 remains to be called, but we have proven that we are up for fighting the good fight. John McCain, you were a good guy, but you made some poor decisions. Sarah Palin? Suck it. Joe the Plumber, you are neither a real "Joe" nor a real "plumber". Enjoy those last remaining 15 minutes Joe and Sarah; we won't miss you.

Update: Just listening to John McCain's concession speech, and I must say that sir, you are a true class act. Your concession was eloquent and touching, and you made strides to unite us as a nation; you regained my respect, and I hope that your own legacy as a committed servant to the service of your country endures.

Again, we have made history. We are one step closer to changing the world.

Election Day!!

Today we make history.

I'm on pins and needles for the Presidential election as well as the Washington state gubernatorial contest and, duh, Proposition 8 in CA. The plan is to avoid any election coverage after 7pm PST, go to yoga, and emerge at 9pm with a new president. All will be right with the world, angels will trumpet on high, and the Dow will gain 2,000 points in the morning -- and manage to hold on to them. The world will breathe a collective sigh of relief, and there will be such astonishing international goodwill that everyone will manage to overcome their differences and we'll see an end to violence in Africa and the Middle East; North Korea will open it's borders, and Cuba will hold open democratic elections.

Nonsense, of course, but just last night I was discussing with friends the likelihood of a "rubber band effect" if we do indeed see an Obama presidency. Is it possible that the harm done over the past eight years can be overcome by the US dramatically changing course, electing our first mixed race president, and dropping the arrogant and contemptuous attitude that has defined American politics for far too close to a decade now? I think that it is possible. I don't believe that it will be immediate, but I do believe that we can show that we are making a good faith effort to be a good global citizen. We know that we made some pretty big mistakes, but hey, we want to do better, and we're trying.

Pins and needles people, pins and needles.

Wow. Just Wow. McCain Adviser Lies Openly And Belligerently

So apparently, Barack Obama is not only a socialist and a domestic terrorist, but is surrounded by anti-Semites. Who are these anti-Semites? Watch and learn. (Hint: Michael Goldfarb can't manage to come up with another name, and when pressed states simply that "I think we all know who number two is".)

When W was elected, one of the pundits made the observation that "in four years, that little blue dress is going to be a happy memory"; referencing, of course, the Lewinski scandal that almost brought down Bill Clinton. Eight years later, it's likely that everyone could go for a cigar, and I have a feeling that if McCain were to somehow be elected, Iraq, Katrina, the economy, and Cheneyesque transparency in government will also all be happy memories.

While you can argue that the actions and rhetoric spilling over from the McCain camp in the past few weeks is the result of a campaign in it's death throes, it's more believable that this is a preview of how they will choose to govern. The Bush administration has proven that it's not necessary to rely on facts or truth to advance a self serving and damaging agenda, and at this point in the campaign, McCain is proving that he, and the people he chooses to have in his employ, are much more similar to the farce of the last eight years than we ever would have thought. The Straight Talk Express is proving itself to be anything but, as we are faced with another round of easily disproved lies and recriminations; from William Ayers to "socialism", to Joe the not-quite-a-Plumber. We all know that the bar for political discourse was irreparably lowered by the employ of Rovian campaigning, but did we know that it would become the absolute train wreck of a limbo competition that it has become? How low can we go indeed. Six more days and we will likely have an answer.

Proposition 8 Supported By Thoughtful Reason

The below video clip (via Towleroad) is an example of the fair minded and well reasoned arguments being employed by anti gay marriage supporters in California.



Too busy too watch? The verbatim quote is: "There was another time in history when people, when the bell tolled. And the question was whether or not they were going to hear it. The time was during Nazi Germany with Adolf Hitler. You see he brought crowds of clergy together to assure them that he was going to look after the church..."

To one Mr. Brad Dacus, I have this to say: Really? Are you going to go there, of all places? Comparing pro equality supporters to Nazis? Or are you merely inferring that supporting marriage equality is akin to kowtowing to an amoral and ultimately murderous government? Ironic, really, that what Nazi Germany did to Jews, Gypsies, Catholics, and, yup, Gays, is pretty much exactly what the Pro 8 crowd wants to do the Gays. (In so much as restricting rights and freedoms, to be clear -- there's really no need for any more incendiary rhetoric.) Bad analogy, Mr Dacus, bad analogy.

Broken record time! Donate, donate, donate!! Can't donate? Vote! Can't vote? Raise your voice and be heard!

Write To Marry Day

Today is Write To Marry Day, a day where bloggers are posting their pleas for the defeat of proposition 8 in California. I've been incredibly busy, and, sadly, have not had a chance to say (yet) as much as I would like to on this topic. Following is a post that I had begun some time ago, but had to put down due to time. So, in honor of the occasion, I've spiffed it up a bit and hopefully it will suffice; also appended are some fantastic "No On 8" youtube spots, which are clever and wonderful (and hello, gay speakeasies!), but also make some brilliant points.

If you are unable to vote "no" on 8, please, please, please donate here. The campaign needs to raise another $3 million in the days leading up to the election to compete with the influx of money going into the pro 8 camp. This is a matter of massive historic significance, so please, please, do whatever you can to help -- whether it's donating, voting, or educating. There is a tremendous amount that we take for granted with little or no thought to those who fought before us; this is our chance to make them proud.

Recently on Towleroad, I happened across an incredibly well thought out and impassioned argument regarding the important and historic nature of Proposition 8, how it's all about civil rights and not marriage, and exactly why it's imperative that it not pass. I touched on this issue somewhat myself in my post from 10/12, though my arguments focused on drawing a parallel between gay marriage and interracial marriage. What my argument lacked, and what Prince Gomolvilas tackled (and tackled well) is the human factor.

In short, this issue is about civil rights. It is about me. It is about you. It is about your children, your grandchildren, your nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and parents. It is not about religion. It is not about "tolerance". It's about changing the world for the better and taking one more step in ensuring that every citizen of this country shares the same set of rights. And it's not unreasonable. Below is a particularly poignant excerpt from the article.

There are people out there who want to change the law to designate an entire class of people as unequal to, as less than, every other class of people. If we lose this battle, I don't care that we're losing marriage; I care that you and I will, in the eyes of the law, be inferior to everyone else. And when our opponents see that our inferiority is validated by the government, it will allow them to continue on their path of dehumanizing us. That's what denying a class of people an equal right does. It dehumanizes them. And it is the dehumanization of a group that creates a culture in which people feel that it is okay to yell "fag" at me when I'm walking down the street; that it is okay for kids to be bullied and beaten at school; that it is okay for a jeering mob to incite a gay 17-year-old to commit suicide by jumping off a building. These things happen because gays are demonized. And gays are demonized when they're made out to be an inferior class of people. And they are made out to be an inferior class of people when they are not allowed the same rights as everyone else.

(I'm) Particularly Partial To The Potter Puppet Pals

Remember when I used to write about music and personal reflection and things instead of just dialing it in and posting videos of random interweb ephemera with a little verbal slap and tickle preceding them? No? Neither do I.

In keeping with this great tradition (like turkey at Thanksgiving!) I submit to you, dear reader(s?) the Absolute Best Thing On The Internet (Today). Behold: "The Potter Puppet Pals And The Mysterious Ticking Noise"!

It's Saturday night, woo hoo.

A Palin Presidency

Wow. I just found my favorite website for the next three weeks (ok, the next five days; my attention span has been a little shot lately)! It's PalinAsPresident, and it's a virtual advent calendar counting us down to the election. Every day there is a little change made to the site; doors that open, objects that move, countless predictions of imminent catastrophe made. Curious to know just how a Palin Presidency might go down were something to happen to (a somehow bafflingly elected) McCain? Well, this pretty much lays it all out. Don't scoff though, remember all of those things that the "Bleeding Heart Liberals" predicted from Dubya? Yeah, that "I told you so" is somehow just as gratifying as I thought it would be -- which is to say, not at all.

You know, I would love to get into it all, but really? You should just check it out for yourselves because I don't want to spoil a single surprise. Ok, the baby names "Cashew", "Carport", "Rake", and "Purple" posted on the wall made me howl the first time I saw them, but that's all that I'll tell you. Maverick!

Thanks CNN!

First of all, I refuse to get on my soapbox and talk about how irresponsible it is for the media to be running with a string of Depression features over the past couple of weeks. It's inappropriate, not necessarily accurate, and frankly, I find it somewhat disturbing the amount of glee editors seem to take in fueling fear. Things have been frightening enough over the past few weeks without reading articles about stealing chickens and eating squirrels.

The end all be all of Depression reporting comes to us today, however, via CNN:

"It was a uniquely disgusting thing ... to see my grandfather take a stewed, skinned squirrel's head, smack the skull's dome with a heavy silver tablespoon, and dine on the brains," LeBlanc said.

Not nearly, I'm sure, as "uniquely disgusting" as reading about it over your lunch. However, I see your tale of squirrel brains, and I raise you a video of how to prepare "squirrel melts". Actually, don't bother watching this one. Really. I mean, of course you will, but I would advise against it, so don't say that you weren't warned. You may never want to eat anything again. Ever.

Matthew Shepard Ten Years Later And The Fight For Marriage Equality

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepard, the 21 year old University of Wyoming student who was brutally beaten and left for dead in a field because he was gay. (The initial motive was likely robbery, however, the long and the short of it is that Matt Shepard was beaten, pistol whipped, and tied to a fence post by people who ultimately decided to brutalize him based on his sexuality.)

In the past ten years, admittedly, a lot has changed. As of this past Friday, Connecticut became the third state to legalize gay marriage at the judicial level, reasoning eloquently that “Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same-sex partner of their choice." Still though, as the fight for equal rights (yes, equal, not "special") is advancing, we are still experiencing set backs, as states pass amendments to their state constitutions declaring that marriage is to be defined as "between a man and a woman". During the 2004 election cycle, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Ohio, Utah and Oregon have passed amendments to their constitutions doing just this, and this year Arizona, California, and Florida have measures on the November ballot to do the same.

It is important that voters in these three districts stand up and fight for equality, but it is of utmost importance that the marriage ban in California, Proposition 8, not pass. Currently California allows gay couples to marry after the recent Supreme Court decision, so a constitutional amendment would be a massive set back for marriage equality. The rights afforded to same sex couples through marriage are essential to legitimizing relationships, and extend much further than any proposed domestic partnership legislation ever could. Without marriage rights, same sex couples lack visitation rights for hospital stays, are exempt from tax protected inheritance rights, and are disallowed equitable ownership of property. (The last alludes to the manner in which a married couple may hold title to a property, as contrasted to two unrelated persons, and the subsequent tax liability when ownership in the property is transferred or dissolved.)

It is preposterous to imagine that we can somehow legitimize one consenting couple's committed relationship while delegitimizing another, and justifying this requires a baffling amount of logical acrobatics. It wasn't so long ago that the same arguments were made in favor of disallowing mixed race marriages, and the same arguments made in favor of prohibiting miscegenation fell when confronted with basic and inalienable human rights. The conceit that the will of the majority can restrict the rights of a minority is wrong headed and purely unConstitutional.

It's not possible to stress the importance of, if you are in California, being sure that you vote, and vote "no" on Prop 8; if you're not in California, it's still possible to affect change by donating to the cause here. This is an historic time in American politics, on all fronts, and I can only hope that when we look back in the next ten years, we have accomplishments for which we can be proud, as a people, and as an equal, unified nation.

Sarah Palin Secessionist?

There's been a great deal of fuss lately from the McCain/Palin camp regarding Barack Obama's association with one William Ayers, who had been a member of the Weather Underground -- a domestic terrorist group active in the 1960s, and responsible for bombing the pentagon in 1972. (The Pentagon sustained minimal damage, and no one was injured or killed in the incident.) Ayers later became a legitimate figure in the Chicago educational system, also working closely with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, and helped to secure a $49.2m grant from the Annenberg Foundation to reform the public education system in Chicago. He was also awarded Citizen of the Year in 1997 by the city of Chicago for his work in education. As you can see, a dangerous character indeed; someone existing entirely on the fringes of Chicago's political scene, a Kaczynski of the brownstones.

Not so much. While Ayers indeed has a checkered past, he is by no definition currently a "domestic terrorist".

Sarah Palin, on the other hand apparently is very legitimately and recently linked to a very real group of secessionists in Alaska. As a matter of fact, she has addressed their national conference (this group so anti American that they literally want to remove themselves physically from the Union) as recently as 2008. The group is the Alaskan Independence Party, and while I don't see any record of violent activity, I can't help but think that involvement with a group that includes amongst it's goals separation from the United States (and taking with them all of those natural resources that we seem to need so badly right now) is not only unpatriotic, but the height of treason.

The real question is: Why aren't we talking about this on the national stage??

The video below should be of great interest; in it Sarah Palin expresses her support of the party alongside video and audio recordings of party members.



update: apparently this issue is beginning to attract the attention of the press... (via jed report)


Read the referenced Salon.com article here.

Betty White on Sarah Palin "She's a crazy bitch!"

Oh Betty White, America's wonderful, racy, saucy, and delightful grandmother! During a recent appearance on the Craig Ferguson show, Betty proclaimed Sarah Palin a "crazy bitch" and expressed her appreciation of Barrack Obama. God love her. Watch and be amazed. (As a side note, it makes me sad that both Rose and Dorothy have been looking a little Baby Jane lately.)



And this is a perfect segway into some political talk! Huzzah!

via Fey Friends

Time Lapse Kitteh

Things have been, in general, kind of a bummer lately. Not on a whole by any means, but every one is likely a little stressed of late. For that reason alone, I think that it's time for a cuddly kitten video... Time lapse footage of someone sharing the bed with their cat, and the tossing and turning that ensues. While this does, in truth, make me miss my last cat, it also makes me happy that I do not currently share the bed with a pet; especially around the end of the clip when the cat is obviously bored and acting out.



As an added bonus (or not, depending on your view of vicious ear worm songs), please enjoy "The Kitty Dance", and yes, enjoy it for days and days, because it will never leave your head. Creepy or fabulous? Both? Yup, you got it.

Ruminations On The Eve Of 33

Well, it is the night before my 33rd year; my birthday eve. I've been thinking about a year end recap for some time now -- forming my thoughts for an end of December post. Mainly I've been looking forward to a chance to kick 2008 in the ass on it's way out the door. On many counts -- both for myself and for those near me it has been, in short, a thoroughly rotten year. There have been deaths in the families of many of my closest friends (as well as myself), some overtly tragic and meaningless, and others while not so sudden, still inhabited by the sense of loss that we feel when separated from those we love, those who've known us all of our lives, those who, deep down, we're not really sure how to get along without. There has been hardship, be it economic or personal, and there have been growing pains, as we all lurch awkwardly further into adulthood.

In the past year, I've moved across an ocean, leaving behind someone that I loved very much; I've made new friends that I couldn't imagine living my life without; left behind others that, while I do care about, we just haven't been good for each other; I've met and faced challenges both personally and professionally that I hope never to wrestle with again; my goals for myself, for my life, have changed -- crystallized. There are babies born (a godson!) and others on the way, marriages (and likely a divorce or two); endings, and beginnings. It's far from hyperbolic to say that we live in wondrous and terrifying times; we have an african american man (from Kansas and Hawaii!) running for the highest office in the nation (a nation that teeters ever so precipitously on the potential of absolute collapse), gay marriage is on the ballot in California, the economy is stuttering and threatening the stability of this entire global spiderweb in which we are all entangled; Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian! Ellen married Portia! We stand at a precipice, and know that we absolutely must jump -- we just don't know whether it's going to be for the better or for the worse. Personally, I hope and believe that it will all be for the best; change is good, the good guy always wins, and massive change is what we need to right the wrongs of (let's face it) the past eight years.

In short, it's been a year, and I have some new grey hairs to show for my efforts. While there may be, at times, a near crippling fear, there is also, at heart, a deep hope and a belief that things will always be better and always look up. A willingness to remind myself of what I have and what I've gained, even in the face of all that I feel that I've lost. For everyone in my life, I love you, and treasure you, and hope that you forgive me my maudlin impulses.

In lighter news, as this is a birthday post, while no one is obligated to get me anything, I have just the thing if you're looking for the ideal gift (barring, of course, cash gifts in large, non sequential bills); a two plus foot porcelain statue of Chairman Mao. While he is a bit dear ($285!), I'm sure that our friends at the West Seattle Antique Mall may be willing to come down a bit, and if you pool your resources, it's really not all that much, is it? Of course, if blatant consumerism ironically celebrating a Communist leader isn't quite your thing, I would also be more than happy to accept the gift of a baby muntjac deer.


The chairman in his luminous glory; and he would look fabulous on a sideboard.


Oh.Em.Gee. Look at his teeny little hooves!!!

Christian The Lion May Make You Cry

Jesus. This video of Christian the lion reunited with his "parents" after being separated by several years in the wild just made me weepy. Here I am, on a Friday morning, sitting at my desk and getting misty eyed over human lion reunions. Well, whatever -- it's a beautiful story, so enjoy! Then you can be weepy (in a good way!) too!!